Yesterday the townspeople all gathered together and presented me with a statue, right in the centre of the town. How come I have the voice that destroys and commands? Er, well I'm the mayor since last week. Does that building look a little ugly? Wouldn't you rather have a nice big park there instead of that gas works? OK, send in the bulldozers and down it comes. The best thing about this city though is that if I don't like anything, I can simply change it. The new super- efficient traffic warden service can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but since the introduction of the excellent train, subway and bus system, I never really need to take the car into town anyway. He raised the finances by legalising gambling which is fine by me. That's because the mayor passed an ordinance requiring that industries comply with strict pollution controls. Of a morning I could quite easily take the subway downtown and visit the library, go for a relaxing walk through the zoo and then catch the bus to the ball game. Plenty of houses, either in high rise apartment blocks or detached homes, acres of office space and just about every conceivable industry, from auto companies and petrochemicals to tourism and media. They've got everything you could possibly want there. Where am I moving? A great new place called Sim City 2000. The water system could be a lot better, and quite frankly, I'm worried about the crime rate. There isn't a convenient airport, and not a shipyard to be found. There aren't any luxury office blocks with air- conditioning and helipads on the roof. I mean, Bath is a great place, but there quite a few things missing. I don't know about you but I'm thinking about moving.
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